What exactly does that mean?
““…This is the essence of what it is to be spiritually independent. You are open to wisdom from whatever system of belief it may come, and yet free from having to believe in that system as a whole in order to benefit from its wisdom.” ”
Rabbi Rami Shapiro, author of the quote above, coined the term in his book, Perennial Wisdom for the Spiritually Independent. Unlike other terms that categorize people by what they are not (e.g. Spiritual-But-Not-Religious), this term focuses on who they are instead. He also coined, “seekers without borders”, a term that also captures the heart of what we’re talking about here.
Shapiro has often compared the spiritually independent to the politically independent, the latter being those who sift among a plethora of ideas and policies to find which ones best fit with their worldviews. The spiritually independent are much like that. Wisdom comes from many sources. The key is to recognize which truly align with your spiritual paradigm and values.
In a blog post from the web site, Spirituality and Practice, authors and site founders, Fredric and Mary Ann Brussat, note that a common criticism about the spiritually independent is that they are “self-indulgent, superficial, and selfish”. What they have heard from some self-described religious is that spiritually independent people are just making up their own religions, resulting in a kind of “cafeteria” or “salad bar” approach.
In contrast, what the Brussats have witnessed in participants from their courses, is a great deal of internal struggle and scrutiny to find where they belong. Notable, also, is the frequently expressed desire to be of service in the world — hardly something selfish. These individuals often feel compelled to focus on their spiritual lives because something simply isn’t working. The initial trigger may sometimes be a nagging sense of cognitive dissonance or a full-blown life crisis or something else altogether.
Speaking from a personal perspective, I shared in my initial post that I was raised without a formal religious foundation. Being the inherently spiritual kid that I was, I felt drawn to forge my own path from the time I was in my early teens, relying on the youth groups and religious services of my friends for exposure.
I don’t fault my parents for any of this. There was a deep conservatism that existed within their communities of origin that they quietly rejected as adults. I think it was cognitive dissonance, the thing I mentioned previously. Unlike me, they seemed to lack a sense of spiritual curiosity in the first place (although I can’t be sure of that). For those and other reasons, it’s never surprised me that they both left religion behind.
As a result, however, I was basically left to my own devices, borrowing spirituality wherever I could find it. I found the pop culture around me especially inspiring (think Jesus Christ Superstar, Godspell, and Jonathan Livingston Seagull).
Different Paths, Different Challenges
As I moved more critically through adulthood, I found the formal, religious options to which I was exposed rather ill-fitting. As I mentioned in my first post, I meandered a long while without a spiritual home. Thankfully, that has changed in recent years.
I tell you all of this because I want to present the variety of ways by which we each might arrive at the doorstep of spiritual independence. My life experience differs from what I’ve often encountered in friends and acquaintances who now also find themselves in this place.
Most of the friends and acquaintances from my childhood were raised in homes generally reflecting the mainstream social and religious norms of the 50s and early 60s. While some remain affiliated to the religious traditions of their formative years, many have left.
I can’t help but wonder if it’s more challenging to be raised like me, without clear religious direction, or to sever long-held ties to a way of life that no longer feels genuine. Maybe worse is remaining in traditions that don’t fit due to a sense of guilt or a fear of breaking from the status quo. It’s easy to understand how that happens.
I have a special place in my heart for those who courageously choose to “deconstruct”. The term can have a range of meanings depending on the source, but generally it is the process of examining, and often rejecting, the beliefs you were presented with in your youth. I know that, for many, deconstruction can be a long and often painful process.
And let’s not forget those who consider themselves spiritually fluid, a term coined by Duane Bidwell in his book, When One Religion Isn’t Enough: The Lives of Spiritually Fluid People. Spiritual fluidity describes a situation where one feels bonded with more than one tradition. It may be an independent choice. It may also be something one inherits – from parents of mixed religious faiths, for example, or from a legacy of colonialism.
There can be a lot at stake for some who choose spiritual independence. There may be pressure from loved ones, partners, or friends who are uncomfortable with one’s emerging spiritual path or exploration. There may be fear of judgment or a growing inability to relate to or share with certain family members or friends.
For others, there brings with it a sense of shame. Depending on the tradition one is leaving behind, there may also be anxiety (perhaps intense) around what spiritual independence could mean for one’s post-death existence.
Affirmations to Live By
I’ll close with an introduction to one of my favorite guides in faith deconstruction, David Hayward. David is a former Christian pastor and full-time artist. He has blogged about spirituality, deconstruction, and religious freedom since 2006 and has experienced the deconstruction process first-hand.
Currently, he facilitates a group called The Lasting Supper with the aim of helping people “become and remain spiritually independent”. Here is the group’s Manifesto. These statements could serve as aspirations for any of us who wish to nurture a genuine spiritual life.
1. I am free. I always have been. I always will be.
2. I have the right to ask questions as a way to become wise.
3. It is my right and responsibility to find and walk my own spiritual path.
4. It is my duty to myself and others to remove the log from my own eye first.
5. I take care of myself before I care about labels or what others call me.
6. It is necessary for me to be true to myself before being true to a group.
7. I recognize my roots, but I will not allow them to prevent me from changing.
8. I embrace my unique spirituality and will let my light shine for others.
9. I take charge of my life and will live it wisely, compassionately, and joyfully.
10. I am spiritually independent!
Your companion on the journey,
Anna
Post Author: Anna Cuyler, Certified Spiritual Director