Reflections in the light of suffering
“Do not lose yourself in the past. Do not lose yourself in the future. Do not get caught in your anger, worries, or fears. Come back to the present moment, and touch life deeply. This is mindfulness.””
As I bear witness to the turmoil of current global and national events, a recent group spiritual guidance session comes to mind. During this gathering, we discussed the final chapter of a book, by Rabbi Rami Shapiro, titled Perennial Wisdom for the Spiritually Independent. This particular chapter focused on the “why” of suffering.
Our group members seemed to agree that sometimes there is a clear cause-and-effect to these situations. We are able to trace a sequence of events or circumstances to discover the root or roots of the suffering. In other instances, a clear reason doesn’t appear to exist. In this case, Shapiro offers the only answer available to our question of why. It is simply: “Because.”
Regardless of whether we can substantiate a reason, three questions can be asked and applied to our own personal suffering and challenges. They can also be applied to suffering and challenges faced by the broader collective.
What?
The first question is: “What?” What is actually happening? What are the facts? What are the immediate consequences or impact of the situation? Although “facts” are often subjective, we can choose to face what we know, to the best of our ability, in the cold light of day. Several possibilities exist in response to what we find. Our reaction may be to deny, blame, or perceive ourselves as victims. As people committed to a spiritual path, however, we attempt to move past those initial responses to eventually accept what is.
So What?
Acceptance does not mean resignation in this instance. Acceptance, ideally, leads to the second question: “So what?” This is the meaning-making phase of the healing that is possible if we are open to it. What were the significant lessons? Who were the people who became our teachers? What were the circumstances that moved us to another place on our spiritual journey? Finding acceptance, and then making meaning of the suffering or challenge, often requires a substantial amount of time and distance from the situation. Self-compassion is important here.
Now What?
The final question left to us in the face of suffering or challenge is: “Now what?” What action(s) do I need to take? What personal qualities are in need of development? What remains to be healed? What am I now being called to do in my life? The best that we can offer in response to this question (as well as the previous ones) requires a degree of spiritual discernment.
Answering these questions brings an opportunity to open ourselves to guidance from an Inner Voice. We bring these questions into the stillness of our spiritual practices. We use deep listening to become aware of the answers that inevitably arise within us. We may decide that we need to revisit these questions more than once.
As you face various types of suffering or challenges, consider that spiritual guidance could offer you the time and space to internally address any or all of these questions. It could provide a container of sorts in which to wrestle with your answers. With time, patience, and self-compassion, your guide may gently lead you to uncover the invitation from Life that lies buried within a difficult situation.
Regardless of how you choose to address your personal circumstances, may you ultimately discover the truth in this quote by Thich Nhat Hanh: “Most people are afraid of suffering. But suffering is a kind of mud to help the lotus flower of happiness grow.
“There can be no lotus flower without the mud.”